I’ve been bumping up against worry and anxiety the last few days and all over cars. I’ve decided it’s time to have a change and I would like to go electric. And there are various options out there as to how to do that in a very fast changing technological market. And so I’m looking quite seriously at leasing.
And I keep worrying about it, about getting into some big contracts, about the fact it does cost more. But it includes a lot of things that mean I haven’t got to worry about things in between now and the end of the lease. So that’s very attractive. But I’ve been finding it really hard to follow my own advice and hold it gently and see what comes out of that.
So I’m going to have a go now with you as my audience as it were. So the issue is do I go ahead with the lease deal for the car I’d like, or do I let it all go, maybe have a month off, and then come back and look at whether to buy one and do the second hand route in the old fashioned way. In the night last night, my goodness, worry was really catching me out. My whole body was feeling anxiety. It was really horrid. So now I’m walking and I’m in nature. Last thing I want to think about is cars, but they’re still there in my head.
So what does holding it gently look like? Holding it gently looks like for me about letting the worry be there as a resource. Worry and anxiety have a place because some decisions it’s best not to make. And when anxiety is around, it’s offering an opportunity not to do something. It’s offering an opportunity to say no, won’t do that. Where that can go a bit awry is anxiety can be so keen on not doing something that I/we can lose opportunities to do things that do actually involve a little bit of discomfort, do actually involve a bit of risk, but they’re worth doing. So this is about anxiety saying, well, be careful, take it easy, don’t rush, and then deciding with that advice to still go ahead and do the thing.
Sometimes anxiety has no real validity at all when it’s making up stories, and it’s therefore important to mindfully notice when something is just a story that has no validity to make me anxious, even though the anxiety is making me anxious! On the issue of the car that anxiety is very valid. It’s offering me that chance, has been offering me that chance not to rush my fences, not to dash into anything. There are stories going on as well in my head that are basically made up, because we’re reasonably financially secure and, even if this does cost a bit more than other routes, we can weather that and the benefits of going this route are really helpful, certainly for my first to dip into the electric car market.
So I’m holding that gently and the anxiety is still there and I can feel it lessening along with various objections that have come up in my mind. I’ve found ways of looking at them and letting them go. And that’s what I would really like to do now. And with your help, by being there and witnessing, my attempt to hold it all lightly now is really giving me a bit of peace and a bit more clarity. I’m not quite there yet. I’ll let you know one day when I decide, but I wanted to record and put this out there because this is a very real world thing, a very first-world thing and, in the great scheme of things, not the most crucial. However, it’s the sort of thing that can trip me up and I know can trip other people up. So I wanted to practice holding it gently and letting you come on the ride with me.
Maybe there’s something going on for you where you’re finding a lot of anxiety and worry around, and maybe there’s something going on for you that you could also hold gently and see how that helps you in the choices you make.
Go well and take care. x
