I worry
It holds me, grips me
Sucks me in and keeps me stuck
*
I take a moment
To hold the worry gently
And the grip is released
*
Instead of being stuck with it
I am free
To simply be with it
***
Sez Kristiansen asks us in her latest post to reflect on what kind of host we are to something very difficult right now. An uncertainty, a longing, a fear, a diagnosis, a habit. Can you imagine becoming a softer place for it to land, if only for a moment? How does it feel to allow it, to hold it, without asking you to change in any way?
It’s not dissimilar to a post I made a little while ago about dealing with a different diagnosis or other tricky things that happen. Sez deals with it her way, I deal with this my way, but basically the principles are the same of allowing stuff to be, stuff that we really can’t do anything about.
What comes to my mind straight away is the whole business about the climate, the planet, and how we people are dealing with each other, acting towards each other these days. It does trouble me a lot. And I guess I don’t hold it lightly. I look around with judgments. I see people who are absolutely denying the whole climate thing despite this sweltering hot week that we’ve had in Western Europe, and I think is moving east now.
Many, many, many people I judge are in denial, consciously or unconsciously, just assuming that everything will be fine, life will go on, just be a bit hotter.
And then there are others who are like me, and maybe many of you, concerned about the whole thing. There are those who then are active and go out and do stuff. And thank you to all of them, perhaps some of you for all they/you do actively get some change. Many of us don’t do that. I don’t do that, and I’m choosing not to do that particularly now. I do what I can to support in different ways, like this, and other support I give.
Anyway, let’s come back to the issue, holding it gently, because I don’t. And what occurred to me is that I could. The thing that troubles me most of all is the bit in between. The stage when things are breaking down, and the place gets to some sort of anarchy. What would life be like then for me, people I love, people like you? And that does go around and round a bit.
So what happens if I hold it gently? Well I gave that a go. And you know what? It did feel lighter. Because I guess practicing as I do, not always getting it right, but practicing as I do the principle of holding things lightly, the principle of allowing things to be, and being present with whatever is; that principle, I’d like to think, will serve me even if, when, things get really, really difficult. I’d like to think that this principle of being with whatever is will serve me.
What it looks like, how I’ll behave, I don’t know, And you know what? It’s okay not to know. For now the important thing for me has been (and thanks to Sez) this chance to say, okay, to let go of all the big, big worries about it and how you’ll cope. See if you can hold lightly, hold gently, that fear of yours. And then let whatever unfold. And be with that.
Thanks for listening.
