Imagine you’re at a party, and this party is for you. Maybe it’s a birthday or some other achievement. And at the party you have people around you who you consider your nearest and your dearest. For some of you that’ll be a large gathering, for some of us comparatively smaller. It doesn’t matter.
I’m inviting you to look around the room. First of all, appreciate the appreciation. I had a moment like that at my 75th birthday recently looking around the room and, for once, I was at a loss for words. And choked as I sobbed just a little, appreciating the appreciation. So, do that a bit for a moment or two. And by doing that you appreciate yourself. And that’s no bad thing.
Now, I invite you to take another look around. Is there anybody there who really doesn’t quite fit? Are there people in your life who, while at one level you consider them to be close (and they may well consider themselves to be close to you) but is it possible there are some people there who are, in fact, not your best support, not your best guide? Is it possible that you spend too much time and attention with some people who, let’s be honest, might be draining you. There may be people who are taking from you more than they are giving. And, while that’s okay from time to time, of course it is, when we give of ourselves to support someone else, it’s not so good if it’s a constant drain. And if your own self-care is running low because you’re caring too much for some other people.
So I invite you to look at that, and maybe there’s something there you could let go of perhaps?
And as you look around, is anybody missing? Are there people who have not come to the party either because they couldn’t or wouldn’t? Or people perhaps you didn’t invite. Is there anybody missing? Is there a relationship or several out there in your life that maybe needs a bit of cultivation, a bit of attention? Are there people that you need to go out of your way to see and meet and talk with, and have a nourishing conversation or ongoing relationship? Are there people maybe you’re ignoring, and you could in fact be embracing them?
As you reflect on this, if you notice any judgments coming up about yourself or about others, allow them to be there. There probably will be some judgments. Allow them to be there. Notice what they have to say to you. Remember that even judgments have something to teach.
And I ask you to be curious about the whole thing. Curious about the exercise, curious about what comes up, if anything. If it speaks to you that’s something to perhaps pay attention to. If it doesn’t speak to you, well, let it go. I wish you well today and this week.
